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What to do if someone accuses you of killing Jesus.


Let us say, hypothethically, that you are Jewish. And let us say that you are hypothetically accosted by a well-meaning, but crazed Christian-type person. The dialogue might go like this:

Him: You killed our lord.

You: It wasn’t me.

Him: It was your people.

You: How do you know?

Him: Because you are Jewish. And if you are Jewish, then you cain’t not have killed him.

You: All because I am Jewish?

Him: Thass right.

You: May I ask you a question?

Him: I guess so.

You: Was Jesus Jewish?

Him: Well, I happen to know the answer to that one. Yes, our lord was Jewish.

You: And his mother, was she Jewish?

Him: Yes, she was Jewish.

You: How about his brothers?

Him: Jewish.

You: And his teachers.

Him: Jewish.

You: And his disciples.

Him: Jewish.

You: And the people who accused him.

Him: Jewish.

You: And the people who defended him?

Him: Jewish.

You: What about the people who wanted him handed over to the Romans?

Him: Jewish.

You: And the people who wanted him crucified.

Him: Jewish.

You: And the people who wanted the other guy crucified.

Him: Jewish.

You: And the guy who nailed him up to the cross.

Him: Roman.

You: I see. So, basically, everybody in his life was Jewish except the man who nailed him up, the one who actually killed him.

Him: Thass right.

You: Well, according to the law that Jesus himself followed, the only person guilty of murder is the one who actually does the deed. So it was the Romans who are guilty of killing him, and the Romans became the Christians, so I say to you, “You killed your lord.”

Him: No siree Bob, I ain’t no Catholic.

                                                                             *  *  *  *  *

The Pope has proclaimed that the Jews have their own path to G-d and do not need Jesus. We appreciated hearing that, but we never did get an apology for all the millions of Jews who were persecuted, tortured, and spat upon for not believing in Jesus. I think the Catholic Church owes the Jews reparations. We could ask for hundreds of billions of dollars, but all we want is two things:

            1) Our Menorah back.

            2) All your land.

And a pox on your vobiscum.




Chaim Clorfene